Daddy God...Who am i?? What am i doing? God...everyday of my life, i am meeting so many ppl, i am so jealous with them, how i wish that i could be one of them...i love caucasians so much...they are just so gorgeous, i really wish that my future husband is a caucasian and the baby that we give birth will be a perfectly good looking baby...God, sometimes i might be dreaming a lot...but u know my heart desire....i wish to find a guy who will give me security, a tall and big size guy who will be able to protect me...maybe i am a bit over or asking too much...But i do like these guys a lot...What am i thinking?? i have no ideas...

Sometimes...

Sometimes, I can't stop myself from thinking about u...Sometimes i hated u so badly...It makes me so struggle, but one thing I know is that i have quit...Totally out of your life...I wonder why...At least it's so much more peaceful...But how come i still can't get rid of you?? Maybe we have been sleeping together for a while?? Treated u as my own family...but u were not cherishing, u were not treasuring...Lossing a baby is so much more painful than losing you...I don't mind losing you, but missing the baby that i had really making me sad...Sometimes I'll think that u r pity, because u have nothing at all...U gain absolutely nothing after all these...Other than blames from everyone...But it's totally different from me, everyone is happy for me...And i m just doing so well in everything...It had been a long long time, that i never get scolded or yelling...And i feel so lost and empty?? What the hell I am thinking?? Maybe i am used to it...Living in your condenmination world...It's my new life....I have to move on to meet my prince...

Last day in Ipoh

Everyone has to sacrifice something to grow up...I feel so bad to leave my family here...2 and a half month, i have been resting at home and spent so much time with my family members...I know that i am going to miss them like crazy this round...Without my family's support and love, i know that i wouldn't be survive today...All i have toay is all because of them...

Heading to an unknown future, don't know what job that i am going to pick up, don't know where I am going to stay, i should have planned all these, but well...I have Jesus with me...God, pls guide my ways, direct my path as i pray...I love you Jesus and i surrender everything into ur hands...Jesus, thank you for everything and I love you...Amen!!

My sincere prayer to u, Jesus...

My dear Jesus,
I just feel so miserable tonight...When Ah jie mentioned about Sarah...Sarah still asking about koko in Singapore, it did remind me about Guan Keat...I should have hate him a lot, but i just miss him sometimes, ppl might look at me as a strong gal, but i m jut nothing at all...What i have today it's all because of ur love n mercy...For what had happened in the past, it was hurtful to me...But God, i know u care, i know that u r concern...I leave everything into ur hands...Thank you for being here with me...I truely appreciate and i know that i know u'll understand...maybe I just need sometime to let go of everything...I just pray that let your will be done...i choose to obey and i want to follow your will...Because I love you...

Daddy God, my SIA interview is coming soon...in 6 more days, i'll be going out to fight the battle...I am going out to pursue my dream le...I have been dreaming for so long, ad now is the time for me to shine le...I just want to tell u that, God, i am really serious about this job, and this is my desire to be a cabin crew, and i long to be a stewardess...I want to do something that'll make u proud...Jesus, would u pls grant me with ur favor, ur wisdom, ur confidence...i put all my hope in you alone...I know that everything is n your hands right nw, God, i give u my all...I love you...

What is dream??

Everyone has a dream to be pursued...But sometimes when u put the highest expectation in ur dream, if u fail, it'll be definitely hurted...The dreams that u have will always make u face difficulties and it's going to cost u a lot...maybe the dream is easy for u to achieve, but because of so afraid of failing, we tend to lose strength and confidence in pursueing...It's going to be very hard this round, should i go and just give up?? I am so stress now...everyone has different things in life to think about, but what i am thinking now is just all about that interview...i got to learn how to let go right now...i can't hold on too tight....GOd...help me....Help me to learn how to breathe within such circumstances...

I am just thinking...

I am just wondering, i have putting all my hopes and dreaming about the dream that i have had since i was young...what is the things that will happen if i fail the coming interview at 19th of June...I put all my effort and really wish that i could get in...I have given the highest expectation, just to become a SIA cabin crew...hoping and wishing that i could be the one...I am leaving all my troubles behind and run toward the goal...God, i pray and i pray, that u'll guide me and lead me this time, deep down my heart i really cry out for a door to be opened, i want to run the race for u Jesus...I am different from others, i always want to be a better person, i want to achieve something in life, at least for my family, for my love ones...I want my Jesus to be glorified and proud of me...Daddy God, 11 days to go...these 11 days, i am trying my very best to fill myself with knowledge and train myself up to be a confident person...I'll try my best n let u do the rest...Jesus, today i write down all my feelings...and i pray that u'll bring me to the destination...In Jesus' name i pray, I love you Jesus, Amen...!!

Mummy, my greatest blessing...

Mummy, thank you for taking good care of me...I am now, able to stand for my own, it's all because of you...Thank you for being there for me throughout the 24 hours every single days after my operation...I love u mum...There are so many times that i don't have to say ANY SINGLE WORDS, but u just know what's going on and what am i thinking...Y r u so clever?

You said God spoke to u, God gave u that sense...God loves me so much that i could your child...There were so many times when u see me being hurted, when u see me broken down, i know that i know, ur heart is 100 times more painful than me...U r just so strong, u have to support all of us...When we are down, u will just be there...U just know what exactly we are thinking....

When i was so afraid of my future, when i was so afraid to move out from my past, u r the only one who always remind me that the bad dreams are over...Mum, i promise that i will stand up once again...I promise u that i will walk with God...I promise u that i'll find my true love by one day!! Thank you for making me strong once again, thank yoI u for taking good care of me until i could to walk once again, thank you for being there until i m able to fly again...I love u mum...

I have a great mummy...I can't imagine what'll happen without her by my side...Everytime when i fall, she'll just be there 4 me...I love my home, i love my family...Home is always the best place for recovery, i could simply find love in this home...Even i gone through so much things in life, but i am grateful that i have a great family members...Nobody could ever take their place in my heart...

It had been a long long time that i sleep in the presence of the rain...6 hours of raining, i had a great movie n took a long nap in the afternoon...I'll never these kind of village life in Sin...:) but i love Sin as well...it's a place for me to grow up...God, i thank you for your blessings...I never regret of following u, never regret of having Jayden in my life too...God, pls take good care of him and i know that i am going to see him by one day...It's good to be myself, it's great to enjoy life...

I am now getting better and able to help out my mum to do housework, and i really thank God for speedy recovery, i had been a useless person for these few months and i brought a lot of troubles to the ppl around me...But at least now i can stand up 4 myself...:) it's wonderful that i found myself once again in your presence...Daddy God, i love You...As long as u r by my side, i think i have nothing to be afraid of...:)